Consider Yourself Warned
by LovinLife4ever
Summary: Troy Bolton uses way to much of Tag. It is my job to set him straight and make sure it never happens again. Yeah... I'm pretty much screwed. Troypay oneshot. Kind of Stupid. Kind of Random. Kind of Cute.


**Like most of my oneshots, completely Random. It was spawned by a conversation my friend and I had on Facebook about this guy who wears waaaay too much Tag/Axe (I can't tell them apart. And also, by the on going Tag Wars at my school (some idiots attacking each other with Tag in the hallways). For those of you who have never witnessed this, I can assure you that it is sufficiently disgusting. Also, did you guys know that Axe has its own girl band now? The Bom Chicka Wah Wahs. How lame is that, they have a music (if you can call it that) video and everything. Think bikini girl from American Idol, times four. Yeah, I know. **

**Anyways, this is probably more of a Public Service Announcement than a fic. So to any guys who may be reading this: NEVER EVER USE TOO MUCH TAG/AXE!!! I mean, for all I know, Axe/Tag could smell great, its just that no one I know has used it in enough moderation for people to tell if it really did smell good. I blame it on the commercials, I almost feel bad for the poor losers who buy the stuff then get their hopes crushed.  
**

**So here, something randomely written on a snow day. With some Troypay, just because I wanted to.  
**

**I do not own High School Musical, the characters, Tag, or Axe.  
**

"Someone has to tell him."

"Why does it have to be me?"

"Because you know him best. I mean its way better that he hears it from you, now, than if he heard it from someone else later."

"Not any more!"

I walked past the two whispering girls hiding behind bookshelves, I was trying to minimize the time I spent in the school library after school, but I couldn't help but pause when I heard their paranoid conversation. "What are you guys doing?"

"Oh, hey Sharpay." Gabriella said absently.

"It's Troy." Taylor whispered, I was sort of surprised that they were letting me into their little club, but I didn't question it. "He just got out of basketball practice and he smells disgusting."

"Ew." I scrunched up my face is disgust. "Did he, like, not shower or something?"

"No, he showered." Gabriella shook her head at me, as if the worst was yet to come. "But he also used, like, a whole bottle of Tag."

"Oh my god, I am so sorry." I said quickly, considering that using Tag was ten times worse than not showering at all.

"We can't even go back over there!" Gabriella shrieked. "My eyes were starting to water."

"And I got a killer head ache just from being, like, ten feet away!" Taylor rubbed her temples, looking like she was about to break down.

"And the thing is, he doesn't seem to notice it!" Gabriella started pacing before she continued. "It's like he's not even aware that he's acting as human tear gas!"

"And we have to study for Academic decathlon, our team made it to State this year!" Taylor whispered. "My sister's Girl Scout troupe is at my house, making macaroni art, or whatever, and Gabriella's mom is hosting the PTA meeting! We can't go anywhere else! This is the only quiet place in Albuquerque, and it's been invaded by Troy Bolton! Who is like, a walking smoke bomb of Tag!"

"That sucks." I said.

"We know." Gabriella said sadly. "We were going to just wait for him to leave, but he's just not moving."

Taylor now looked completely panicked. "I can't tell him to leave, because I'm his best friend's girlfriend! Not to mention his ex girlfriend's best friend! Anything I'll say will just sound like I'm being bitter."

"And I _am_ the ex girlfriend!" Gabriella pouted. "I'd sound even more bitter than she would."

"Ryan already went through his Tag phase. Actually, it was Axe, but like it makes a different. I'm immune to those things by now." I shuddered, remembering Ryan's awkward years. "It won't end until someone tells him that he smells like he drowned himself in a lake of Tag."

"What about you?" Taylor suggested quickly.

"What about me?" I asked. The pleading looks on both of their faces said it all. "Oh, no. I'm not going anywhere near Bolton, especially not after he decided to smother himself in Tag."

"I thought you said you were immune to it." Gabriella said.

"I am." _I'm just not immune to him._ I kept that last part to myself.

"Then why can't you just help us out, just this once, he'll probably never overuse Tag again." Gabriella desperately said in a hushed tone. "Please Sharpay, Troy and I are finally in a good place being just friends. I don't want to ruin it by sounding like just another crazy ex girlfriend."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, you guys go get something from the vending machine and I'll get Bolton to leave."

"Thanks Sharpay!" Gabriella said, pulling me into a surprise hug.

"We owe you big time." Taylor said, ultimately making this strange experience even weirder. The two girls ran out.

I straightened out my blouse, preparing to infiltrate Troy's table. I pulled out my compact and checked my lip gloss before walking over to Troy's table. I didn't understand why this mattered so much to me. But, I guess, after that whole thing at Lava Springs happened over vacation happened, it was pretty understandable. Since then I'd kind of laid low when it came to the social world of East High. Sticking to what I was good at and reclaimed my lost identity as star of the majority of school musicals. Though this meant that I occasionally have to interact with Gabriella, Troy, and the rest of them, it didn't mean anything. Just because I was no longer their enemy didn't automatically make me one of their friends. But for some reason, he mattered, he just… did.

I took the seat next to Troy and leaned on my elbow, turning towards him. "Okay, here's the deal, Bolton, I'm going to try to make this as painless as possible for both of us, okay?"

"Hello Sharpay, I'm doing fine, thanks for asking. How about you?" Troy responded sarcastically, still concentrating on his text book.

"Save it, kid. I'm just trying to help you out." I said bluntly.

"I honestly don't see how this would be considered helping." He looked up.

"That's because I haven't helped yet."

"You never do." Troy smirked. I blushed slightly at this, which I was able to hide it with a severely annoyed look. But I had to admit. I really did like that he talked back rather than just sitting there and calling me mean.

"I get it, you don't want my help. But here's the thing, its not just about you, this is for the good of man kind." I said, feigning seriousness.

"What are you talking about?" Troy looked genuinely confused.

I leaned in closer to him as if to tell him a secret. "You smell like you just took a bath in a vat of rubbing alcohol."

"As painful as that sounds, it can't be true, I showered." Troy rolled his eyes at me triumphantly.

"Oh, I know." I laughed. "I also know that you must have been I a steam room of Tag for you to smell this gross."

"What are you saying?" Troy asked with a quizzical expression on his face.

I smiled at Troy's inability to understand. I snapped out of it though, keeping myself detached. "Lay off on the Tag. You smell disgusting."

"I do not!" Troy crossed his arms.

"Um, look around, you kind of chased everyone out of the library." I said with a laugh.

"You have got to be kidding me." Troy shook his head.

"I kid you not. Please don't spray it in excess like they do in the commercials." I cringed. "You're not going to get a bunch of cheerleaders to tackle you just by covering yourself in Tag, in fact, it's practically female repellant. That whole Bom-Chicka-Wah-Wah thing doesn't work either."

"Why are you telling me this?" Troy asked.

"Because I think you'd rather here it from me than some girl who you're trying to pick up." I giggled.

"Who says I'm not trying to pick you up?" Troy asked, probably not aware of what he was saying.

"Because you're dumb enough to wear large quantities of Tag while around me." I laughed, but only to hide that I was smiling. Okay, so I might have had a slight crush on Troy, but nothing seriously serious.

Troy blushed. "I didn't know I was wearing too much, okay?"

"Honey, you know its too much when you've completely lost your sense of smell, which I assume that you have because you don't seem to be affected at all by the fact that you smell like you were brutally attacked with a bottle of Tag."

"Is it really that bad?" Troy asked looking nervous.

"It was tear inducing to your ex-girlfriend, you know, if that's what you consider bad."

"Oh, God." Troy ran his hands through his hair. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Trust, me, this is not a joking matter." I laughed.

"How come you can handle it?" Troy asked.

"I'm immune to Tag." I answered plainly.

"So it's just me that you're always steering clear of?" Troy smirked.

Now I was blushing. "No."

"Oh come on, we were friends over summer break, sure, it wasn't like it was the best time of your life, but you had your shining moments." Troy smiled.

"And my share of disasters." I muttered. "Weren't we just talking about your Tag issues? Let's stick to the subject."

"Oh please, you know you think I'm alright. Not just the trophy basketball star boyfriend you pretend like you want." Troy smiled. "Face it Ms. Evans, you have a heart. And you can no longer hide it."

I was now red. And I do not enjoy being red. "So you're not all free throws and biceps, like that actually matters. You're still Bolton."

"And you're still my friend." Troy smiled. "Even if you are unhelpful, and rude, and on occasion, just a little psychopathic."

Okay, I had to smile at this… I just had to. "I'll see you later, _Troy._"

"You said my first name." Troy said sheepishly. "Does that mean that you like me now?"

"Just a little." I giggled. "Try not to ruin it"

Troy ignored the last part. "I'm going home to shower… again. Do you need me to give you a ride home?"

"Fine." I said, forgetting the whole concept of me studying. "But only if you lay off on the Tag."

"I promise," Troy said, "if you promise not to be such a hermit."

"Deal." I smiled, leaning closer to Troy to give him a small kiss. "Consider yourself warned."

**If any of you guys don't get the title/last line, it's a refence to the commercials for Tag. 'Consider Yourself Warned' is Tag's tagline (teehee... tag... tagline... I can't be the only one who thinks that's funny). Okay, bye for now - LL4E**


End file.
